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  • 文章網 » 散文集 » 朱自清 » 沉默

    沉默

    沉默是一種處世哲學,用得好時,又是一種藝術。

    誰都知道口是用來吃飯的,有人卻說是用來接吻的。我說滿沒有錯兒;但是若統計起來,口的最多的(也許不是最大的)用處,還應該是說話,我相信。按照時下流行的議論,說話大約也算是一種“宣傳”,自我的宣傳。所以說話徹頭徹尾是為自己的事。若有人一口咬定是為別人,憑了種種神圣的名字;我卻也愿意讓步,請許我這樣說:說話有時的確只是間接地為自己,而直接的算是為別人!

    自己以外有別人,所以要說話;別人也有別人的自己,所以又要少說話或不說話。于是乎我們要懂得沉默。你若念過魯迅先生的《祝福》,一定會立刻明白我的意思。

    一般人見生人時,大抵會沉默的,但也有不少例外。常在火車輪船里,看見有些人迫不及待似地到處向人問訊,攀談,無論那是搭客或茶房,我只有羨慕這些人的健康;因為在中國這樣旅行中,竟會不感覺一點兒疲倦!見生人的沉默,大約由于原始的恐懼,但是似乎也還有別的。假如這個生人的名字,你全然不熟悉,你所能做的工作,自然只是有意或無意的防御——像防御一個敵人。沉默便是最安全的防御戰略。你不一定要他知道你,更不想讓他發現你的可笑的地方——一個人總有些可笑的地方不是?——;你只讓他盡量說他所要說的,若他是個愛說的人。末了你恭恭敬敬和他分別。假如這個生人,你愿意和他做朋友,你也還是得沉默。但是得留心聽他的話,選出幾處,加以簡短的,相當的贊詞;至少也得表示相當的同意。這就是知己的開場,或說起碼的知己也可。假如這個人是你所敬仰的或未必敬仰的“大人物”,你記住,更不可不沉默!大人物的言語,乃至臉色眼光,都有異樣的地方;你最好遠遠地坐著,讓那些勇敢的同伴上前線去。——自然,我說的只是你偶然地遇著或隨眾訪問大人物的時候。若你愿意專誠拜謁,你得另想辦法;在我,那卻是一件可怕的事。——你看看大人物與非大人物或大人物與大人物間談話的情形,準可以滿足,而不用從牙縫里迸出一個字。說話是一件費神的事,能少說或不說以及應少說或不說的時候,沉默實在是長壽之一道。至于自我宣傳,誠哉重要——誰能不承認這是重要呢?——,但對于生人,這是白費的;他不會領略你宣傳的旨趣,只暗笑你的宣傳熱;他會忘記得干干凈凈,在和你一鞠躬或一握手以后。

    朋友和生人不同,就在他們能聽也肯聽你的說話——宣傳。這不用說是交換的,但是就是交換的也好。他們在不同的程度下了解你,諒解你;他們對于你有了相當的趣味和禮貌。你的話滿足他們的好奇心,他們就趣味地聽著;你的話嚴重或悲哀,他們因為禮貌的緣故,也能暫時跟著你嚴重或悲哀。在后一種情形里,滿足的是你;他們所真感到的怕倒是矜持的氣氛。他們知道“應該”怎樣做;這其實是一種犧牲,“應該”也“值得”感謝的。但是即使在知己的朋友面前,你的話也還不應該說得太多;同樣的故事,情感,和警句,雋語,也不宜重復的說。《祝福》就是一個好榜樣。你應該相當的節制自己,不可妄想你的話占領朋友們整個的心——你自己的心,也不會讓別人完全占領呀。你更應該知道怎樣藏匿你自己。只有不可知,不可得的,才有人去追求;你若將所有的盡給了別人,你對于別人,對于世界,將沒有絲毫意義,正和醫學生實習解剖時用過的尸體一樣。那時是不可思議的孤獨,你將不能支持自己,而傾仆到無底的黑暗里去。一個情人常喜歡說:“我愿意將所有的都獻給你!”誰真知道他或她所有的是些什么呢?第一個說這句話的人,只是表示自己的慷慨,至多也只是表示一種理想;以后跟著說的,更只是“口頭禪”而已。所以朋友間,甚至戀人間,沉默還是不可少的。你的話應該像黑夜的星星,不應該像除夕的爆竹——誰稀罕那徹宵的爆竹呢?而沉默有時更有詩意。譬如在下午,在黃昏,在深夜,在大而靜的屋子里,短時的沉默,也許遠勝于連續不斷的倦怠了的談話。有人稱這種境界為“無言之美”,你瞧,多漂亮的名字!——至于所謂“拈花微笑”,那更了不起了!

    可是沉默也有不行的時候。人多時你容易沉默下去,一主一客時,就不準行。你的過分沉默,也許把你的生客惹惱了,趕跑了!倘使你愿意趕他,當然很好;倘使你不愿意呢,你就得不時的讓他喝茶,抽煙,看畫片,讀報,聽話匣子,偶然也和他談談天氣,時局——只是復述報紙的記載,加上幾個不能解決的疑問——,總以引他說話為度。于是你點點頭,哼哼鼻子,時而嘆嘆氣,聽著。他說完了,你再給起個頭,照樣的聽著。但是我的朋友遇見過一個生客,他是一位準大人物,因某種禮貌關系去看我的朋友。他坐下時,將兩手籠起,擱在桌上。說了幾句話,就止住了,兩眼炯炯地直看著我的朋友。我的朋友窘極,好容易陸陸續續地找出一句半句話來敷衍。這自然也是沉默的一種用法,是上司對屬僚保持威嚴用的。用在一般交際里,未免太露骨了;而在上述的情形中,不為主人留一些余地,更屬無禮。大人物以及準大人物之可怕,正在此等處。至于應付的方法,其實倒也有,那還是沉默;只消照樣籠了手,和他對看起來,他大約也就無可奈何了罷?

    (原載1932年11月7日《清華周刊》第38卷第6期)

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